It can be done!

May 6, 2006. The day I learned to bike

I made up my mind to bike to the countryside last Saturday. I found out eventually that it was going to be windy, with winds increasing during the day. Not optimal biking weather. But it was sunny and otherwise warm and I had made up my mind that I would make it there by bike. I would continue an old tradition by myself:

2008: through the scenic / long / gravel route

2009 April: through Gamla E:4 and Ekholmen

2009 July: through Gamla E:4 and Linghem. No blog entry on this one, but I reviewed a DVD on cycling on the same day.

Nothing will ever be the same of course, but it doesn't have to keep me from trying to do the things we used to do. While pedaling 45-50 kilometers against the wind by myself – sometimes even pedaling downhills and with anxious drivers overtaking me in sometimes all too narrow roads and in all too high speeds – I learned once again (if I could name one thing I learned from Marcus) that to an extent, the mental challenges are greater than the physical ones. You can go a long way with determination. You've got to have some self-insight to know when to pass up a challenge, but also to know when things are not that bad that you can suck it up.

The route I took to the countryside wasn't particularly scenic but it was full of memories as I relived the 2009 and 2010 trips. When I could take my concentration away from keeping balance against the wind, I could sometimes imagine Marcus’ bright blue bike helmet, his reflector vest and his ladies’ bike. I talked to myself. When the winds were at its worst and I was kind of inching my way forward and holding against side-winds, I found reassurance in the fact that we have biked this route before. Marcus also biked this route alone, before we met, on a rainy and cold afternoon and made it between Klinga and Linköping in little more than one and a half hours. He had his diagnosis even then. We are unique persons, but if he had done that then, then this should be achievable. He would argue that way at least, and I think about that sometimes when I have a hard time. It's a bit funny that way, but I think I'm less afraid of most things now, because of that.

Counting four stops to drink and eat candy and a protein bar, I made it to my destination in 4 hours. That's not bad. My legs felt like dead weights in the afternoon, but I recovered the following morning. Damn, that's the spirit! I feel like hugging myself.

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To other news:

I helped M and M lift and clean a canoe that they haven't used in ages. Anyway, one indication that they hadn't touched the canoe in a long time is that a blackbird built a nest right under it this year. We had to take the canoe out ever so carefully so as not to crush the eggs. Then, after a good part of the hour spent scrubbing, the canoe was fit for use again. Maybe there will be some padding this year in canoe too, then.