...because you thought Sweden was Switzerland!

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Looking beyond the black dog

Lake Ågelsjön in the beginning of November

December 1. Another whole month had flown by in the blog world, but it feels rather that we trudged ‒ TRUDGED ‒ through another long month. November is otherwise anyway the gloomiest period of the year in Sweden: dark, wet, vanishing sunlight. Our attempts to go back to "normality", as we call it, couldn't have been more ill timed. The normality at the end of October didn't last, for many reasons. There were just really bad days this past month ‒ crushing, pressing and immensely tiring days where our spirits just seemed to deflate. Some days seemed to weigh so awfully. The language of gloom is so suggestive: weight, deflation, crushing. You feel quite literally weighed down. But the language, I'm afriad, doesn't quite get so close as to capturing the feeling, when every single day and hour feels like a Sisephean task.

But December‒ it will surely bring something new? Things seem to be turning again for the better and time seems to be chipping away pieces of what just recently felt like an unbearable burden. Marcus is feeling better pychologically, and I am on leave for the moment, to give myself a rest. We're getting somewhere, I guess. Activities seem more meaningful again. Heck, I've even gone back to blogging.

Today, I want to share pictures of an early November walk we made just before things started to get us bogged down again. Marcus was feeling mentally tired then but (lo and behold! It's Marcs after all!) he walked the fastest, always 10 meters in front of us. The spirit is in there somewhere. After this past month, I realized that we have it somewhere in us after all to put one step ahead of the other, even if each step might be so heavy as to feel like a trudge. My mom has a wheel-analogy to life, you know: You get bogged down sometimes, but once you're out of it ‒ and you might need a push from others ‒ things get rolling.

Here we are going up through a fissure on a rock on the way to a lookout point at Ågelsjön. Mom and dad and we walked here last summer, so it was nice to walk there again, this time with Mats and Margareta.

Once up the fissure, you're rewarded by a beautiful view at the lookout point:

Swirls on a twig: the beauty in the small things:

Hopefully I'll be back here in the blog more often now ‒ and we can continue to see things again with wonder.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep enjoying and wondering.


10:22 PM

Anonymous Lara said...

dear joy, glad to see that you're back to writing. we continue to pray esp for marcus. keep rolling, marcus!

p.s. the swirls on the twig were strangely beautiful.

8:48 PM


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